i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
