I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We are two peas in an std pod
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
