I wanna passion pit in your ass
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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