Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Randomize
