If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
