the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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