from now on my penis is your penis
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
