I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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