She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
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You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
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They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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