what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
