i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
