FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
