beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
