so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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