I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Damn victory sex feels great
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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