whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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