my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize