please come you make the beer taste better
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
