I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize