people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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