I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
