we're blogging at a bar
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
