bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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