Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize