I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize