i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
