We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
