: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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