none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
