We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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