She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
