All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
They have beer where we have blood.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
