If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we made out on top of his cat.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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