Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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