Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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