When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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