Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize