Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
