I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
