Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
