Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
