Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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