Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
