sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
