So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
