His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
