i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
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If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
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It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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