That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
