You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
