Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
