I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
