No stitches, just platelets and will power
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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