I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize