i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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