sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
