To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.