I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.