i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
im so drunk with asians
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet