i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Where is the hickey?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize