first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
