I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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